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warning, teal deer abound

I don't pretend to be witty; I say what I mean, and if it amuses you, great. If it invokes flames, whatever, I need something new to rant about anyway.

 

 

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work sucks
(call me Randal, part deux)

 

Well, the first time wasn't enough; there's too many idiots to fill just one "page." So we, meaning Kim (dialogue in green), and I, your faithful webmistress (dialogue in red), compiled yet another list of complaints, to be filed with the local... oh. We're not union. Damnit.

Imagine if you will, your local, smalltown video store. Nothing trashy or substandard, really, just a bit lesser than the Big Blue or even our nearest MG big brother store. Now, picture two post-teenage clerks that work there seemingly every day, all hours.

Why on earth would you want to be intelligent and nice to them?

[Our heroines are behind the counter, tending to a not-so-huge line of customers. Cue the phone.]
"Thank you for choosing... How may I help you?"
"Is there a guy in the store that's really tall,
and another guy that's like, 5'6"?"
"Yes, I think so..."
"It's really important that I talk to them.
It's an emergency!"
"Okay... your name...?"
[Heroine 1 brings phone to two guys at the New Release wall,
Heroine 2 looks on, slightly puzzled.
Customers listening in are likewise intrigiued.]
"Yeah, so... do either of you know a Jessica?"
(guy 1) "Yeah?" (guy 2) "Dude, I knew it was her!"
"You regularly get calls in the store?"
"Hehe"
sigh.



More on the drop slot:
      "Outside drop slot is stupid. They're stupid. Haha!!" (Witness me adding their $1.99 idiot fee)

In their natural habitat, the behaviours and speech of the average customer (consumerus dumbassus) is a confounding creature:

"She got a bag? She's special!"
"Would you like a bag?"
"No, it's more trash."
cry.

Why do they always assume we're goofing off?
Video store clerks aren't allowed to own nice-looking laptops? We have to be slackers?

"What're you, playing games on there?"
"No sir, looking up a movie."
"Right."
sigh.

[sign on counter]
Please find something smaller than a $20, we're low on change! :) Please,
aim for something smaller than a 20 (twenty).
Thank you!

Customer: "Can you change a 100?"
Heroine 2: slamming head on brick wall

Occasionally we have our fun at their expense though...

"Has he rented any porn in the last two months?"
"Uhm... we can check?"
"Yeah!"
(checking, chuckling at a mutually liked movie, not porn)
"What?!"
"Nothing..."
"Just laughing at Clerks"
"Hey! I wanted them to fight!"
"What?"
"Nevermind."

It never really makes up for it though... they still manage to utterly terrify us with their ignorance.

"Do you have a movie called The New Guy?"
"Hang on a sec..." (looking up)
"It's not in the computer, where did you see the ad?"
"On such and such a movie"
"Okay..." (watching tape, no trailer to be found, meanwhile, looking online)
"Ah, it comes out in theaters in November."
"Would Blockbuster have it?"
banging head on counter.
"No, sir, hang on."
(playing trailer on laptop, along with screen that says 'coming soon')
"Oh... what? It's not out yet?"
"No."
continued banging head.